We’ve heard it time and time again, kids don’t come with a manual. Nobody can tell you how to be the perfect parent. Not a doctor, not a friend, not a psychologist, not even a seasoned parent. With or without the advice and outside influence we will never attain perfection in this arena, but what we can attain is knowledge. Knowledge about how our kids are to develop and grow.  I recently read this on knowledge:

1. “Ignorance” is defined not as stupidity but as lack of knowledge.

2.  Lack of knowledge inevitably leads to lack of understanding.

3.  Lack of understanding leads to a disconnect among people with differences.

4.  Disconnection among people with differences lead to conflict.

5.  Knowledge is the only logical solution to the problem of conflict.

- Author, Veronica Roth

Two years ago I was ignorant to the world of autism (point #1). I had a lack of knowledge on this complex issue, this 1 in 88 epidemic that was soon to be my own. I wasn’t understanding these quickly progressing regressions in my own daughter (point #2).   My lack of understanding was soon to be changed. I quickly came to understand what was plaguing Cali and quickly became connected to the apparent differences she was displaying. Sure there were moments when I didn’t understand and disconnect would arise between me and this autism (point #3). Consequently some sort of conflict would arise (point #4), but the conflict would be short lived. Short lived because I was aware of what Miss Veronica mentioned in point #5, “Knowledge is the only logical solution to the problem of conflict.”  I was not going to let these occasional conflicts, whatever they were, be prolonged. I would not let ignorance get in the way of Cali’s progression. I was determined to figure out solutions, answers and this was done by obtaining knowledge.

So how do you gain this knowledge, a knowledge that holds the key to unlocking the doors to your child’s own little world?

You  read.          You ask questions.          You consult your pediatrician.          You stay current.          You talk about what you’ve learned.

 You go down every path that offers knowledge.

 It pains me to know of people who stay ignorant, pretending it is not ignorance. Ignorance must be the easy way out. Easy, but a temporary easy. Sure it prevents a person from facing reality, but what happens when the conflict become increasingly worse, and forces a person to recognize the truth. Is it then too late? Will the child living with autism be too far gone? Maybe, maybe not. 

We will never know where Cali would be without all the varying therapies she receives. I can’t take full credit for the therapy, there’s Madi, Dawn, Krisanne, Jane, Tiffany, and a recent therapist, Katie, who have all taken shape in Cali’s life the past two years. What I can take full credit in is choosing to accept the knowledge that led me to these exceptional people. Choosing to accept the knowledge that helps me each and every day to understand Cali, and resolve the conflicts.

Combine a  parent’s love with a parent’s  knowledge and then exercise that love and knowledge. The outcome will be promising every single time.