Oh man….


As good as Cali does these days, she still has moments when I think, “holy cow, what is her deal!” Today we had one of those moments. The morning came and went with regularity and ease, then we were off to visit Krisanne for occupational therapy. Before making it to Krisanne, we had to make a quick trip to see a doctor. This was no ordinary doctor. She actually, among other methods, tests a person’s health by reading your eyes. It’s called iridology.  A bit unconventional, but after having this method practice on myself, I actually believe it holds some validity. We will save iridology for another day. Cali did phenomenal when her turn was up. Sat in her chair the entire 30 minutes. Allowed the doctor to peer into her eyes. No fits, no complaints. The visit came to a close and we were back in the car to see Krisanne. We had about five minutes left to our drive, when an aggravated groan started emerging from the back. I wish I could have recorded this groan. It’s the same every time actually, and if there was ever a sound to get me to crawl out of my skin, it’s Cali’s groans and exasperated breaths. DRIVES ME UP A WALL!!! However irritated I instantly was, I tried to stay calm and ask Cali what was wrong. Here was our conversation and here is why my irritation didn’t subside, but instead increased!


Cali: “I CAN’T DO IT! You didn’t put in the holes.” (Put her belt back together.)


Me: “Ok, but I can’t help you right now. When we stop I will put your belt back on.


Cali: (Groan, groan, groan) “I CAN’T DO IT!”


Me: “Cali, I know you can’t. I will help you when we stop.”


Cali: (Groan, groan, groan) “I CAN’T DO IT!”


Me: Repeat (Only this time my voice wasn’t so calm)


Cali: “I CAN’T DO IT!!!!”


Cali seriously continued to repeat herself the entire five minutes. It was as if she didn’t hear me. Nothing I said was sinking in. Even when I reassured her she most definitely could not buckle the belt, she STILL reminded me “I can’t”! I hate to say it, but irritation was couple with annoyance and frustration!! It probably didn’t help that I was running on little sleep. I’m not the most top notch mom when I lack sleep. Really…not top notch!


So what happened next. Well, we parked the car and headed into the building. Cali was completely disregulated. She was wincing when I took her out of the car because it was raining outside. She didn’t want to walk because she would get wet. She hovered into my shoulder because the wind was too cold. Once we reached the indoors, she would no longer talk  but only make high pitched noises to respond to my questions and statements. When Cali saw Krisanne she buried her head deep into my chest and really lost it. The more Krisanne would talk the more out of sorts Cali would become. My choice was to hold her the entire session or place her on the ground and walk out. I opted for the latter. My choice caused an eruption that shook the walls and basically burst our ear drums. Yep, Cali was definitely overstimulated, disregulated, and burdened with a seemingly insignificant situation.


An occasion such as this is a rare one, but when it does occur man does it take me back to the earlier days. Situation like those happened daily, multiple times a day. Cali, you have come a LONG way!


Cali’s sessions with Krisanne are an hour long. My guess what that Krisanne was going to have her work cut out for her. Well I was wrong. Krisanne worked her magic and within five minutes Cali was back to being Cali. And for the duration of the day you would have never guessed this ten to fifteen minute stint ever occurred.


Cali, you definitely know how to give me a run for my money. Whewwwwww! I guess we will see what tomorrow holds. Fingers crossed we avoid one of these for the next little while!


  1. I remember a few of the “My legs don’t work, I can’t walk” in Houston. haha Love her! Sometimes you just want to be carried!

  2. Glad to know I’m not the only parent that deals with major meltdowns at times :). I just can’t even IMAGINE sweet Cali acting like that 😉

  3. Thank you for sharing this and all your honesty. When I read your posts and see where your at with Cali, I get scared and sometimes discouraged, being that Scarlett and I are still in the beginning stages. This post you have shared gives me hope Scarlett might be able to climb out of her daily fits, and not wanting to comply with what’s going on. It’s just nice to hear that someone I truly look up to has been through similar experiences that I am going through and has come out of it thriving! Thank you again for sharing!

  4. Cali is so lucky to have you. The journey goes on. Even through the extremely challenging days it is amazing to feel the unconditional love you have for Cali and for so many people experiencing this.
    Keep up the great work. Very inspiring!

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