About a year and a half ago Casey started Crossfit. I’m sure by now everyone is familiar with this gym/workout program. He fell in love the minute he walked into the gym or box I should say. Crossfit lingo…who knew there was such a thing! I think he thought his love for it would immediately rub off on me. It didn’t. Then I think he thought with time the love would rub off on me. It didn’t.
I had this preconceived notion of what Crossfit would do to a girl, what kind of physical look it would produce. The look was overly muscular and beefy. There was NO way I was going to begin a workout program with that being the result. Well…three weeks ago it happened. I went to New York to visit Casey on his work trip and what do you know I experienced my first Crossfit work out. Did I love it…YES, I did!! I don’t think Casey wanted to give away how excited he was, but I have a feeling he was feeling pretty good inside to know his love of Crossfit had finally rubbed off.
Three weeks later and I am still a fan. Crossfit for me is three days a week and so far the results are not an overly muscular and beefy look. It’s something else, something I never thought it would be.
So where am I going with this…
Last week our WOD (workout of the day) was this:
- Run 800 meters
- 40 yd sled pushes
- 40 plate push ups (chest has to touch the ground every time)
- 40 yd lunges with a 45 lb bar
- 40 T2B (Toes to bar. You hang from a bar and swing your feet up until your toes touch the bar)
- 40 burpees
- 40 yd sled pushes
- Run 800 meters
Some of you may have no idea what half of those workouts mean, but let me assure you…that work out has been the hardest in my three week training thus far. It was during the last 800 meter run when I really felt the pain. I wanted to quit. I wanted to give into that voice whispering, “It doesn’t really matter. No one cares if you take a break. It’s tiring so give up for a bit. What are you going to lose by stopping here a little, there a little? ” When this little voice, aka thoughts, were rolling through my mind, I immediately followed the thoughts with this…
Yes it does matter. You’re right, no one cares if I take a break, but can I finish without one, yes. Of coarse it’s tiring, but what hard work and struggles aren’t tiring. Stopping here and there won’t matter, except I already committed myself to finishing. My thoughts kept rolling and soon I became numb to the pain. The reflections I was having on my run soon became reflections on my life as a mom. How does this happen?? I don’t have a clue, but it did. My mind was turned to this…
I have been given the blessed opportunity to be a steward over Cali and Ava. The responsibility to care, nurture, and love are innate abilities I think every mother possesses, but even if they are natural tendencies does it make mothering easy? I don’t think so.
Do I want to quit sometimes…yep, on the hard days quitting sounds much easier. Is it tiring, stressful, and more than a full time job. One hundred percent yes. But is it also beautiful, rewarding (cliche, but oh so true), and everything good rolled into one. Yes, 100%!
I finished that 800 meter run. I didn’t stop, I finished. No breaks or giving up. How did I feel after? I was tired, breathing hard, sweating (which I NEVER do), and looking SOOOO good I’m sure, but there was something else I was experiencing. Something much more profound. I felt strong. In that short, but gruesome work out I had experienced a paradigm shift. I realized that as a mom I have to preserver, I have to stay committed, I must never give up because in the end it will strengthen me. Oxymoron? Kind of seems to be. How can committing myself to endure the stress, the fatigue, the tantrums, the emotional ups and down, the whirlwinds of motherhood make me stronger? Because with each difficult circumstance and experience I endure I learn something. I grow. How does giving up or letting go allow for growth? It doesn’t.
Life is full of opportunities. Some of the opportunities are fun, easy, and endured with comfort. Other opportunities prove to be difficult, fatiguing, and laborsome, but all are opportunities for learning and growth. Cali and Ava need me to be strong. They are counting on me to live up to my stewardship as a mother. I would love nothing more than for each of them to become strong women because of what they have seen in me. To sieze opportunities and realize the potential strength that comes from both the easy and the difficult moments.
I need to be strong for them.
So there you have it…Crossfit doesn’t produce an overly muscular and beefy me. It produces a strong me with a new paradigm on motherhood. Who knew it could offer so much more than weights, workouts, sweat, and a “box”!! I think I am looking forward to this new work out adventure!